By Declan Noone
“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
– the 14th Dalai Lama
A number of conversations we have had with young leaders over the last number of weeks, has provided some fascinating insights into what they identify as a leader and as success. While they are at a stage in their lives where they are preparing themselves for their first steps in the professional world, their opinions, perspectives and mental models have been heavily influenced by their environments. Environments influenced and shaped by us, their family, teachers, academic advisors, employers, etc. These young leaders are the future leaders of our organisations, our communities and our societies.
In exploring their appreciation of what is leadership, we heard ‘it’s about getting things done’, ‘you need to be pragmatic’, ‘be strong and show it’, ‘get the result’. All are reflective of what could be comfortably stated as the majority opinion currently in existence in our world. The notion of a leader as a power player, clinical and rational decision maker, devoid of emotions, with clarity of purpose and consequently, highly effective. Their definition of Success represented the impact of the hedonic treadmill mind-set. The constant striving for extrinsic and material things.
When I asked ‘what about kindness, empathy and compassion as a leader, and also having a higher presence of them in your life as an indicator of success?’ I had, on occasion, an eerie silence followed by a very clear line of questioning around why would you? When I flipped it and asked ‘why wouldn’t you?’ (this is where the real value for money arrived) because they said:
- Demonstrating kindness, empathy and compassion as a leader or indeed as a professional is seen as a sign of weakness.
- If you receive acts of kindness, empathy and compassion you question the other person’s motivation for performing such acts. What is their intention?
- Of course they want kindness, empathy and compassion in their personal life but who they are in their personal life and how they have to be in their professional lives sometimes needs to be different.
So on a personal, intimate level, kindness, empathy and compassion are valued but beyond your safe bubble they are not, they are a weakness. Now remember these mental models and fixed ideas that these young leaders are communicating are been shaped by their experiences and key influencers in their family, community, academic institution, social influencers, the News, etc. So they are mirroring what is already present and pervasive in our world.
What do we do?
Our world where increasing individuality, is negatively impacting mental health with increased feelings of isolation and abandonment. Therefore, enhancing our individual capacity to demonstrate Kindness, Empathy and Compassion to ourselves and others is important.
To encourage ourselves to increasing demonstrate kindness, empathy and compassion requires that we develop:
- An awareness of the factors that influence our own personal Health, Wellbeing and Happiness.
- Understand the impact we have on the context of others, empowers us to self-care first and then care for others.
- Recognise the mental filters, biases and assumptions that influence our perspective and behaviours on a daily basis.
Doing so enables each of us to step beyond ourselves and, see the humanity in others through a shared identify.
Why bother?
The science of kindness, show us that acts of kindness, empathy and compassion:
- Increases our bodies production of Serotonin which heals your wounds, calms you down and makes you happy.
- Serotonin is not just boosted in the giver of the act of kindness but the receiver and everyone else that witnessed it. In other words, the benefits of kindness are contagious.
- You will also produce more Endorphins, a natural painkiller which is 3 times more effective than morphine.
- The body also produces more Oxytocin which promotes social bonding, has a calming effect, and strengthens the immune system
- While compassionate people have 23% less cortisol, the stress hormone.
- You develop a greater sense of community.
- You live longer.
- Stronger personal relationships
The science is there for all to see, and experience. Look at the workplace, what is the data telling us regarding personal health, happiness and wellbeing? Are there issues with engagement levels, enthusiasm and passion for the job, retention and recruitment, innovation and creativity, etc? The data tells us, that yes there are issues. We have constructed a workplace where acts of kindness, empathy and compassion are infrequent rather than the norm.
But you can’t be effective and successful as an organisation or leader if you are kindness, empathic and compassionate? Rubbish!! Of course, too much of anything is a bad thing, but when done appropriately you see leaders such as:
- Yvon Chouinard, the founder of Patagonia.
- Jacinda Ardern, the Prime Minister of New Zealand.
- Any of the 50 leaders listed on the Leading Lights for Kindness and Leadershipawards.
So what can you do?
- Perform some random acts of kindness, empathy and compassion throughout your day/week.
- Understand what influences your perspective and behaviours on a daily basis and consciously decide to change those that have a negative impact.
- Introduce policies that show kindness, empathy and compassion in practice.
- Volunteer with a non-government organisation.
- Acknowledge the work and effort of others.
- Celebrate the successes of others.
- Support those around you.
- Build a capacity to approach life with an ‘Open Heart, and Open Mind’
Your Health, Happiness and Wellbeing will improve, and will positively impact those around you. Be the catalyst for change, be the ignition point. Show those future leaders that there is a better way to lead, we can be human, successful and professional while being kind, empathetic and compassionate.
