Overcoming difficulties when creating win-win situations
By Armin Forstner
What is a negotiation? When you look up the word negotiationin the dictionary it says, ‘discussion aimed at reaching an agreement’. So, from the outset, a negotiation should deliver a win-win situation, otherwise we wouldn’t agree to the deal. Right?
Guess it is easier said than done. I personally have entered and exited negotiations that were win-lose, lose-win and sometimes lose-lose outcomes. Leaving a negotiation with a negative feeling is bad for that relationship, it is even worse if you realize you are on the losing end of the spectrum afterwards.
How can emotions impact our thinking and behaviours before, during and post a negotiation?
First of all, we need to understand what is an emotion? According to Barbara Fredrickson, Emotions, are brief, multi component mind-body system, which is initiated by a meaning assessment and triggers a self-sustaining spiral. In other words, when we place a meaning or label to an event, interaction or word, it has a psychological impact on us which can either enhance or inhibit our thinking and behaviours. Experiencing an emotion, either positive or negative, will mean that you are psychologically more prone to experiencing further emotions in either category.
Now negotiations involve both reason and emotion, but as I have just explained we need to invest time in understanding our emotions and how they fuel us and others, and in turn identify where emotions can be an obstacle or an asset in a negotiation.
4 Stages of Negotiations*
We can review the 4 stages of a negotiation and map where emotions are more likely to have an impact on our thinking and behaviours.Then we use a number of tools to overcome each potential problem area.
1. Preparation
Use objective criteria: establish early the objective criteria that is to be used in deciding key points of negotiations. Strive to apply reason and rational thought to balance emotions.
Ensure you know your BATNA**: understand what it is you can and should accept and what you must reject. Doing so protects you from the impact of emotions on your decision making and agreeing to something that you will not be satisfied with in the short, medium or long term.
2. Exchanging information
Separate People from the Problem** – people are imperfect & experience problems with communication, emotions & perception. It is important to recognise that each party to the negotiation is playing a role based on their desired outcomes. Consequently, how you personally feel about the other parties needs to separate from the problem before you. A mindfulness practice is a tool that can be used to aid in developing a non-reactionary or non-judgemental approach to your negotiation. Indeed, even a simple pause at strategic intervals is an asset.
3. Bargaining
Invent options for Mutual Gains. There needs to be a mutuality, or shared created value for parties to a negotiation. Therefore, strive to identify and create more options by:
(a) broadening existing options on the table;
(b) identify low lying fruit or quick wins on certain points in order to build momentum and thereby making other decisions easier; and
(c) exploring where mutual gains can be made.
4. Closing and Commitment
Focus on interests, not positions**. Understand your purpose and appreciate those of the other parties to the negotiation. It is a process after all so interests and not positions are the key focal point.
During these 4-stages, here are some examples of how emotions will be either obstacles or assets in your negotiation:
Obstacles (negative emotions)
- Distract and divert our attention
- Damage a relationship
- Negative emotions can be used to exploit & manipulate
Assets (positive emotions)
- Help find common ground
- Enhance a relationship by building it on positive regard and mutuality
- Create sustainable and long-lasting interactions
Positive Negotiations
We talk about Positive Negotiations when we are using Openness and Positive Emotions as assets in the interaction with the other party. Openness means sharing a great deal of information about what you would like to get and achieve with this negotiation. As you know your BATNA you do not increase your risk of being exploited or manipulated. Positive Emotions help find common ground, will enhance the relationship with the other party and will create trust for future interactions.
All the best for your next negotiation when you are creating a win-win situation!
**BATNA – Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement (“Getting to Yes”, Roger Fisher and William Ury)
What does BATNA mean? it is the best you can do if the other person refuses to negotiate with you. Basically, it is the best you can do WITHOUT THEM!
Simply put:
– As buyer, if the offer is greater than your BATNA = ACCEPT
– As buyer, if the offer is less than your BATNA = REJECT
*From Shell, Richard. ‘Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People ) Penguin 1999.
